If you haven’t figured in out by now, Ben and I are foster parents! We’ve been enjoying the company of a teen boy for about six months, who you may have seen mentioned vaguely as “R” in some of my recent posts. I haven’t talked about this explicitly, mostly because I’m not really sure how to talk about it in a public forum. For one thing, our son is a teenager in a small community, we’re Facebook friends with a lot of his friends, and all the kids around here are all over the internet. I don’t really want to be “that mom” and write things that are potentially embarrassing. Secondly, as the rest of you foster moms know, there’s a lot of obligatory privacy when it comes to foster kids. You have to follow the rules, and you have to be respectful. So I’ve opted not to talk about it thus far. However, this is a really big part of my life, and I think it’s good to talk about the foster parent experience. So I’m going to be posting a lot more about foster parenting here, and hopefully creating an element of camaraderie with other foster moms.
So what is it like to be a foster parent? Well, that’s hard to answer. Our situation is very, very different than most peoples’. However, I’d be kidding myself if I said that being a unique foster family is, well, unique. Everybody has a distinct experience with its own joys and challenges. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t put the foster-family lifestyle in a box!
For us, we’re a cross-cultural family. This wasn’t much of a stretch for us. Ben and I already have learned to enjoy and appreciate our own cultural differences. With our son, there’s also a difference in nationality. Ben and I are expats in the Caribbean, and our son is from here. We’ve had to learn to navigate the system in a place that is very different from the United States, but thankfully we’ve had wonderful people from the children’s service organization who are very kind to us as we pick through the cultural obstacle course.
We’re also a young couple fostering a teen. We’ve experienced some judgement from people who don’t think we should be taking on this kind of responsibility, but ultimately, we don’t dwell on those voices. Fostering has taught me that no matter what you do and no matter what your motives are, people are going to find fault with you. You can’t let it get you down. Listen to concerns of people who care about you, but in the end you just have to do what you know is right for your family. And guess what? It’s gone beautifully. If you’ve never considered fostering teens, why not look into it? I never thought I’d be good at this, but it’s one of the best experiences of my life.
We’re in med school. As one of my college professors used to say, “It will never be the ideal time to start having kids.” Doesn’t matter if they’re biological or not. Of course, there are some things that have to be in place, by law, in order for you to foster. But you don’t have to have a house or a massive income! You just have to have an extra room and be able to take care of yourself. Med school isn’t the ideal time to do anything, really, but we decided we just have to live our lives and not act like we’re on pause.
We’re pioneers. As far as I know, we’re the first foreigners to foster here. I think we’re the first who ever asked. Also, the program is fairly new. So learning how this works for us is a process. There’s a lot of uncertainty about things. We just have to take stuff day by day, which is hard for me to process—I love planning everything about two years in advance! It’s a learning experience for me, and a growing experience. I never know what to expect and I’m learning to walk in faith.
We’re Living by Faith. I have to take every step before I can see where it will land, which is scary. It’s easy to say that I know God will lead me and take care of me, but it’s hard to act on it. However, as Pricilla Shirer teaches in The Armor of God (my current Bible study book), faith is an ACTION. Faith has little to do with my ability to believe really hard and everything to do with God’s faithfulness. If I trust in that faithfulness, I can take the action God is asking me to take before I see the outcome. So that is what we are doing. We have to live by faith and do the things God wants us to do. Ever since we first felt God leading us in that direction, we’ve had to take steps before we had assurance that things were going to work out. Financial commitments and time commitments had to be made before we even knew if we were going to be certified. And it worked out. We’re still up against unknowns every day, but we are trusting God to work those out, too.
What about you? Are there any other foster families out there? I’d love to hear your story, too!
Well, it finally happened. I had to change a tire without my husband there. In fact, not only did I have to conjure up the memory of how to change a tire, but I had left my American phone at home, my island phone was dead, and I had two teenagers in the car. Also, I was stupid enough to park in the mud on a slight slope, which made the whole thing more difficult. And you know what? It wasn’t actually so bad. In fact, in ended up being a good thing, in a way.
Of course, no teenage boy who has been promised a beach excursion wants to sit in the mud and change a tire. But the kids I had had a pretty good attitude, and I was a darn good thing they were there, especially R, who never complained once and worked really hard for an hour. Together, we managed to jack up the car, get the blown tire off, not get our feet smashed when the car slid in the mud and fell off the jack, jack it back up, and put on the mock.
As soon as that tire blew out, I knew I had two choices: get really stressed out and frustrated, or play it cool and have a good attitude. To be honest, if I was alone I probably would have thrown a great big hissy fit and cried a little. But with two teens in the car, I didn’t have that option. If I could keep my wits about me, it would be the perfect opportunity to model how one ought to handle a crisis. I decided to stay very calm and not freak out. By the grace of God, I was able to do just that.
We were quite a ways away from any buildings, so I just pulled off in a dirt patch and we got out to survey the damage. Yup, the tire was flat, and we were not going to make it any further than where we were. In hindsight, I should have made sure we were on level ground, but I was focused on staying level-headed. “Well,” I told the boys, “You two are going to learn how to change a tire.” And I silently thanked my dad for showing me how to do it way back when I was their age, because otherwise we would have been in big trouble.
I unloaded the massive amount of random stuff out of the trunk (you know, coffee pots, sheets, and spoons, the usual) and located the spare. After some hunting, I found the jack Ben bought and an assortment of tools. It took us what felt like seven years to get the car up, and I honestly wondered if we were actually going to do it. Even so, the whole time, we stayed pretty chill. Maybe it was a little overkill when I suggested we think up positive things about our situation (R looked at me like I had lost my mind), but better positive than negative, I guess. I’ve been in worse situations– Ben and I once changed a tire in the rain using a jack, a broken antenna, and an old fork, only to discover than the spare was also flat. We survived that, so we could totally survive this. Sure enough, couple hours later, we were back in Philipsburg with a new rim from the tire shop and a pumped-up tire. And R was armed with his newly-acquired knowledge of how to change a tire.
I learned a few things from this situation. First, it’s super nice to have a helpful teenage boy around who is strong enough to raise the front end of a car. Secondly, I’m more capable of taking care of myself that I thought. Third, I need to be vigilant about how I handle things these days, since a bunch of kids and teens are watching me.
Finally, I learned that being a mentor isn’t just about fun outings and giving advice. It’s also about walking through everyday life with someone, in the good times and the bad, and showing them how to deal with life’s storms. I think that maybe the flat tires of life are the most powerful mentoring moments.
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What has been your most powerful mentoring moment? Comment below to tell me about it.
Who can describe the utter majesty of Niagara Falls? Even the rows of noisy tourist shops can’t take away from nature’s beauty. Above the sounds of traffic and humanity’s masses, one can hear the thundering of the falls before they catch a first glimpse. When the Player Development team from Sint Maarten visited Niagara Falls, 14-year-old Big King was very impressed.
I woke up at 6 am. I was so excited to go to Niagara Falls.
We waited to get on the boat for hours.
“I get close. It was beautiful.” -Puppy, age 6
We went under the fall!
“We went close to the falls.” -Little King, age 11
We all loved it and got wet a lot.
When I take off my coat, only my sleeve was wet.
“I stood in the front for a better view and to get wet from the waterfall. The Niagara Falls was beautiful in person.” -Theo, age 14
Niagara Falls were pretty incredible! We all enjoyed our experience on the Maid of the Mist boat ride. Zack, another teen in our group, made an awesome video of the ride with his Go-pro. Click here to watch it.
The crackle of the fire, the smell of wood smoke, the taste of fresh sweet corn– the tearing of thorns? For the Player Development kids from Sint Maarten, all of these things say “Canadian summer.” This year, they got to experience their first camping in the temperate zone. We didn’t stay the night, but we did get to do all the best of camp activities. Tré, a teen from our group, writes about his time at Camp Wetaskiwin.
The trip was almost over. We went to a campsite. It’s very nice.
We played “Capture the Flag” in the wild bush! It was really fun until I bruised my side. I got so many cuts as well, but it was worth it.
“No one was left unscathed.” -Theo, age 14
After, we dove into the pool to cool off, which was nice from all that running.
“We had lots of fun.” -Skijlaar, age 12
When we cooled enough we had dinner on the fire. Tin foil dinner, where we put chicken, onion, potatoes, and vegetables in the tin wrap it up and put it into the fire. It turned out to be delicious.
I would surely do it again.
Thanks, Tré, and thanks to everyone who made the camping trip happen! We had a great time.
Some of my favorite family memories are the vacations we took when I was in my teens. Make awesome memories with your Teens on Saint Martin when you visit these awesome teen-friendly places! For what to do with kids, visit this page.
Fort Louis
Fort Louis and Fort Amsterdam are two of the island’s oldest structures. Fort Louis was commissioned by the last King of France centuries ago, and still remains one of the French side’s most prominent symbols. Fort Amsterdam stands on a cliff above Philipsburg. It has been used for multiple purposes over the decades and currently serves as a wildlife sanctuary for nesting pelicans.
How to get there: Fort Louis is located in Marigot. You can’t miss it. Park in town and walk up, or take the back road to park near the top of the hill. For Amsterdam is just southwest of Philipsburg. Approach Divi Little Bay Resort from Philipsburg (or use the Sonesta to make a u-turn if coming from Cole Bay) and make a left into Divi’s road. Park before the gate and let the guards know where you’re going. Walk to the far end of the resort until you hit the fort.
Wildlife Watching can be done from any area of the island. See the pelicans diving in the bay, feed the iguanas on Pinel Island, or take a swim to see the fish. Be amazed by both natural and invasive species! You may be surprised what you see. Of course, a wildlife guide is indispensable in this activity. The only Saint Martin wildlife guide was written by Mark Yokoyama, a local nature expert. You can get it here:
How to get there: Go outside!
Cost: Free!
Cul De Sac Hike. This trek is virtually free of human distractions. You can go up through the hills or wrap around the mountain to find stunning views of Anguilla from a rocky coral skeleton beach. Great snorkeling is here, as well.
How to get there: On the northernmost part of the island, take the turnoff to Pinel, go past the school, stay on the road beside the school, and drive until you hit the dump.
Cost: Free!
Tiki Hut is a huge favorite with both locals and tourists. Enjoy a ferry ride through Great Bay, eat good food, and dive into an underwater world. The sunken helicopter is particularly awesome.
How to get there: Go to the cruise terminal in Philipsburg.
Cost: Varies. Contact them for prices.
Guana Bay Hike is another free activity that you don’t want to miss. This hike takes you through the desert side of the island from an abandoned mansion to hidden tide pools.
How to get there: Drive to Guana Bay, but walk to the south of the mountain on the south side of the beach. You’ll see an empty white house and some gardens in a ditch. Take the trail to down and to the right.
Cost: Free!
Snorkling in Cul De Sac is hands-down the best snorkeling in Saint Martin. Suit up in your mask and fins and get ready to see an underwater wonderland! We saw a turtles, rays, lobsters, and thousands of fish. The living coral reef is no less impressive! If you’re up for the swim (and not scared of the drop-off), you can swim to Pinel Island.
How to get there: On the northernmost part of the island, take the turnoff to Pinel, go past the school, stay on the road beside the school, and drive until you find the campground, just past the donkeys.
Cost: Free, or cost of snorkel equipment. Tours also available, like the one linked below.
Pinel Island is a must-do activity for beach lovers. Take the short ferry, paddle board, or kayak over. You’ll be greeted by a pristine beach with dining and even an ice cream boat– but don’t just stay in the sand. The island features an informative nature hike, great snorkeling, three sandy beaches, and hungry iguanas who may just climb right into your bag to find food.
How to get there: Go to the northernmost part of the island and take the round-a-bout toward Pinel. Follow the directions until you find the parking lot.
Cost: $12-$15 for the ferry and up to $40 for a two-person kayak.
Sonesta Resort is an all-inclusive relaxation zone. Adults can enjoy limitless alcohol and teens can sip on virgin pina coladas while relaxing on the beach or at the pool.
How to get there: Located in Maho
Cost: $90 for an adult day pass. About $200/night for a room.
Photo Credit Bianca P
Riu Resort is a blast. This all-inclusive resort is located in Anse Marcel, one of the prettiest bays on the island. Relax by the water, swim in the pool, take a water aerobics class, dance, play volleyball, or sample all the yummy virgin and alcoholic drinks at the pool bar. My personal favorite? The stand-up paddle board in the bay!
How to get there: Take the turnoff to Pinel on the northern side of the island, but turn left at the school and go up into the mountains. It’s quite a drive, so you may want to call for directions first.
Cost: $275+
Stand-Up Paddleboard. You can try this peaceful sport on Galion Beach, Orient Bay, or Anse Marcel. Skim above the water and keep an eye out for sea turtles below you.
How to get there: Orient Bay is on the northwest side of the island; you can’t miss it. Galion is a but further south. Anse Marcel is north of Orient.
Cost: Most places charge $10-$20 per hour for rental. Lessons are around $50 and include rental.
How to get there: Go to Galion Beach or Orient Bay (see directions above).
Cost: $10-$40
Swim to Green Cay for a true adventure. This is not for the faint of heart! Before you try this, be confident in your swimming skills. We took about half an hour to cross from Orient Bay to Green Cay because we couldn’t help but stop and dive to see the giant conch shells and starfish up close. The main drawback for this activity is that the nude beach on Orient Bay is close to the take-off area for the swim.
How to get there: Orient Bay is located on the east side of the island. Green Cay is the closest island to the southern end of the beach.
Cost: Free, or cost of snorkel rental.
Explore the L’Embouchure Cayswhen you’re ready to get away from the crowds. You can sometimes see breaching whales from the platform in the winter. Otherwise, take a minute to learn about the wildlife from the signs on the platform. Then wade or swim out to the cays! You might want to wear water shoes for this; there are a lot of urchins in some places.
How to get there: Drive south of Orient Bay until you come to the turnoff to Oyster Pond. Stop when you see the parking lot and whale-watching platform.
Cost: Free
Watching Airplanes on Maho Beach is the one thing people will ask if you did during your Saint Martin vacation. Get blasted by the takeoff of a 747, or watch the planes land right over your head! This is a good time to break out that selfie stick and get a picture of your family with a jet right above your astonished faces.
Where to go: Maho Beach in Maho
Cost: Free!
Shopping Downtown in Marigot or Philipsburg is a fun way to spend the afternoon. Both have open-air markets on cruise ship days. Philipsburg is pretty dead in the evening or when the cruise ships haven’t come in, so check the schedules before you go. The boardwalk in Philipsburg is particularly fun. You can take photos with the Jack Sparrow statue, get a dollar ice-cream-cone, and enjoy the sun.
How to get there: Philipsburg is on the Dutch side and Marigot is on the French side.
Cost: Whatever you feel like spending.
That Yoda Guy Museum is a unique place that Star Wars fans will enjoy. Walk through the art gallery and museum to see what Nick Maley, one of Yoda’s creators, has done with his creative mind. The highlight? Getting to meet Nick in person on a day he’s inside!
How to get there: Located on the east end of Front Street in Philipsburg.
Roland Richardson Gallery. Make a visit to one of the island’s treasures. Sir Roland Richardson is the descendant of one of Fort Louis’ builders. His family has been here for hundreds of years, and Roland himself is a walking history of the island. Roland’s works of art are oil paintings done around the island. His gallery is an old family house and the back wall of the garden is the French barracks from the time Fort Louis was under construction. If you go on a Thursday between 11:00 and 2:30, you will see the artist at work on a portrait or still life!
How to get there: Rue de Republique in Marigot
Cost: Free!
Haunted Ruins. Ok, so it’s not really haunted (or is it?), but it sure is creepy! Twenty years ago, La Belle Creole resort was one of the Caribbean’s honeymoon spots. Today, it’s the overgrown remnants of ghostly ruins destroyed by a hurricane. Behind the resort is a gorgeous beach and small island nature reserve.
How to get there: Located by Le Sands between Sandy Ground and Les Terres Basses. You’ll see the sign on the north side of the road.
Cost: Free!
Loterie Farm is the perfect place for a family adventure. You can chill by the pool, take a hike to the highest peak (complete with ruins, monkeys, and mysterious gravestones along the way), or zip line on one of the ropes courses. Instagrammers will be delighted by breathtaking views at the top of the tropical forest, and adventurers will beg to zip line from the top or cross international borders on the overgrown rim hike. Tip: spray your shoes with bug spray and you’ll be safe from the ants.
How to get there: Take the turnoff to Pic Paradis after passing through Marigot on your way north.
Cost: 5 Euros for the hike, 25 Euros for the kids’ zip line, 45 Euros and 65 Euros for the medium and extreme zip lines. Pool chair a towel is 25 Euros up, and is required for pool entrance. The park takes US dollars as well.
Surf Lessons can’t be beat when it comes to tropical water sports. The SXM surf club is a favorite with the French kids and expats. I’ve watched them give lessons, and they do an excellent job in both the fun and the safety departments. And don’t worry, there hasn’t been a shark attack on the island in over thirty years! Lessons are 10 am and 2 pm on most days.
How to get there: Go to Galion Beach, which is south of Orient Bay. Walk to the SXM surf club surf shack to ask for a lesson.
Cost: 45 euros for lesson, ferry ride, and board rental.
Horseback Riding anywhere is fun, but throw in breathtaking ocean views and a ride on the beach, and you have a perfect afternoon. Seaside Nature Park offers horse rides along Cole Bay.
How to get there: How to get there: From Maho, go through Simpson Bay to Cole BayTurn right just before Daily Extra Supermarket, and take a left at the end of the road (From Philipsburg, turn left when you come down the hill to Cole Bay Go through the one-way street, turn left, and then go right before Daily Extra Supermarket). You have to drive through the GEBE power plant, which seems odd, but you are going the right way!
Cost: $60/person for an hour ride
Barracuda– don’t eat these!
Fishing is legal everywhere on the Dutch side. Be careful what you eat, though, because most carnivores carry Ciguaterra toxin.
How to get there: Find a beach!
Cost: Cost of fishing pole and supplies (Cost U Less carries poles)
Boat Cruise. There are a lot of boat cruises available on Saint Martin. You can take your pick of island hopping, snorkeling, relaxing, or a combination of the three! Check out Trip Adviser for pricing and locations.
Day trip to Saba, Anguilla or St. Barth’s. If you’re looking for new adventures, try a new island! Each Caribbean island has a unique culture and vibe.
Where to go: Philipsburg for St. Barth’s, Airport Rd. for Saba, Marigot for St. Bath’s and Anguilla.
Cost: Transportation ranges from $42 to $200 round-trip.
How to get there: Go outside!
