cross-cultural | Breana's Blog

What would you do if you were asked to play a role in the wedding of a stranger? In another country? Where you don’t speak the local language?

More Africa Stories!

I recently wrote about attending a dowry ceremony in Burundi. My whole family was invited to attend the wedding the next day, even though we did not know the couple and were visiting from the U.S.

Yes, we did color coordinate our clothes. Photo credit: Danny J.

The wedding took place in a the couple’s church, a beautiful brick building shaped like a heart. It included performances by the choir and speeches with advice to the bride and groom. My family doesn’t speak Kirundi, but my sister-in-law whispered an English translation to us. The service also had a sign language interpreter for Deaf guests, and I could understand most of that.

Kirundi word of the day: Kaze (Welcome)

The couple prepares to be presented as man and wife.

According to the local tradition, asking someone to act as best man and matron of honor is also a request for lifelong mentorship and marriage counseling. The older friends who stood in this role for the newlyweds have a reputation for a stable, loving marriage despite challenging life circumstances.

Jambo! Jambo bwana! Habari gani? Mzuri sana! Wageni wakaribishwa, Burundi yetu hakuna matata.

Hospitality is a strong value in Burundi, and we were offered seats of honor with the groom’s family during the reception. This accomplished the need to have someone stand in for the groom’s extended family members who couldn’t make it as well as the need to express a welcome to out-of-town guests.

I had another role, too. My sister-in-law made the wedding cake, and I had the job of walking up the aisle to deliver it to the couple!

It was quite an experience to see how Burundian weddings are done and to be able to appreciate the meaningful customs they observe. Getting invited to anyone’s wedding is an honor, and I always love having the chance to witness one of the most important moments of a couple’s life.

To read more about this wedding, visit World Footprints.

Africa Day 1: 30 Hours in Transit

Africa Day 2: Crossing Burundi

Africa Day 3: A Dowry Ceremony

Africa Day 5: Gisuru School for the Deaf

If you want to experience a traditional East African lifestyle, rural Burundi is a good place to go. You won’t have pavement or electricity or running water, but you will have the chance to discover local agriculture and artistry. Welcome to Gisuru, a small farming town deep in the hills.

While we were in Africa, my sister-in-law Annie, who lives in Gisuru, invited me to come with her to a Burundian dowry ceremony. This event happens shortly before a wedding, and it entails a dinner and a reception with the exchanging of gifts/bride, speeches, and a lot of soda.

More Africa Stories!

I couldn’t understand what anyone was saying, but I did enjoy the soda. Soda in Africa tastes better than American soda.

I might end up with a cavity by the end of this trip.

Annie lent me a traditional dress. Photo credit: Danny J.

It’s Africa, so we expected the event to start late. We arrived two hours late and then waited an extra hour. I was in the car with Annie and four Burundians, and they taught me some Kirundi words in the meantime.

Carrying – you guessed it! – cases of soda. Photo credit: Abel N.

Kirundi word of the day: Fanta/soda. (Soda of any brand. Also a euphemism for “bribe,” so if someone asks for a “soda” they probably want money in exchange for a favor.)

Dinner was delicious—chicken, beef, rice, cabbage, and fried potatoes. We sat with the groom’s family, as we’d been asked to stand in for extended family members who couldn’t make it.

Carrying gifts to the dowry ceremony. Photo credit: Abel N.

Some of the events:

Dinner
Sodas
Traditional speeches: representative of the bride’s family takes turns with the groom’s representatives to publicly discuss the culmination of their bride price arrangements.
The family reiterates their acceptance of the terms and gifts arrive (more sodas, in this case).
The bride arrives with an entourage and the women vocalize their joy.
The brothers of the bride block the groom’s path to her until he gives them a gift.
Together, the two families sip a banana drink from a big bowl with straws.
The bride gives the groom a gift—new shoes.
The bride gives gifts to the parents.
More speeches.
More sodas.
More speeches.
More sodas.