When we first moved to Sint Maarten, I was expecting to be forced to go without some of the things that I’ve always been used to having. Not the case. In fact, not only do the stores here carry virtually everything you could possibly need, they also carry some things you could never, ever possibly need in a million years. For your entertainment, I have compiled a stack of photos from the Ace Home Store.

First is the Palmpeeler. Basically, it’s a ring with a carrot peeler on the inside. This in the answer to one of the great questions of life: What would Larry the Cucumber buy his girlfriend for an engagement ring?

The Garlic Keeper! For only $5.95 (plus tax!), you can keep garlic clove halves fresh. It will only take a few years for this thing to pay for itself.

The Easy Twist! Works on pretty much every jar anywhere, and you’ll never have to ask your husband to open a jar of pickles again. Of course, you could just get one of those circular grippy things (or a kitchen towel), but why save kitchen drawer space when you could have a cool new toy?

A lime squeezer, a lemon squeezer, and an orange squeezer. I get the need for  an orange squeezer, I get the need for a lemon squeezer, but I don’t get why you’d need both a lemon squeezer and a lime squeezer. Just to have all three colors? And how often do you really use lime juice in cooking, anyway?

Because we wouldn’t want to lose our silverware, now would we?

Here’s what every kid wants at her birthday party: two creepy centipede balloons with bunny ears.

The jar safe! It’s an empty jar with the inside painted to look like it contains fresh strawberry preserves. This is a great idea, but it should probably be a Pinterest pin, not a twenty-dollar retail product.

Bagel slicer. Because knives are super hard to handle.

That’s all, folks! Tune in next time for Chinese-English mis-translations on plastic imports, brought to you by the Asian market next door.