I recently wrote about attending a dowry ceremony in Burundi. My whole family was invited to attend the wedding the next day, even though we did not know the couple and were visiting from the U.S.
Yes, we did color coordinate our clothes. Photo credit: Danny J.
The wedding took place in a the couple’s church, a beautiful brick building shaped like a heart. It included performances by the choir and speeches with advice to the bride and groom. My family doesn’t speak Kirundi, but my sister-in-law whispered an English translation to us. The service also had a sign language interpreter for Deaf guests, and I could understand most of that.
Kirundi word of the day: Kaze (Welcome)
The couple prepares to be presented as man and wife.
According to the local tradition, asking someone to act as best man and matron of honor is also a request for lifelong mentorship and marriage counseling. The older friends who stood in this role for the newlyweds have a reputation for a stable, loving marriage despite challenging life circumstances.
Hospitality is a strong value in Burundi, and we were offered seats of honor with the groom’s family during the reception. This accomplished the need to have someone stand in for the groom’s extended family members who couldn’t make it as well as the need to express a welcome to out-of-town guests.
I had another role, too. My sister-in-law made the wedding cake, and I had the job of walking up the aisle to deliver it to the couple!
A toast with Fanta Orange
It was quite an experience to see how Burundian weddings are done and to be able to appreciate the meaningful customs they observe. Getting invited to anyone’s wedding is an honor, and I always love having the chance to witness one of the most important moments of a couple’s life.
If you want to experience a traditional East African lifestyle, rural Burundi is a good place to go. You won’t have pavement or electricity or running water, but you will have the chance to discover local agriculture and artistry. Welcome to Gisuru, a small farming town deep in the hills.
While we were in Africa, my sister-in-law Annie, who lives in Gisuru, invited me to come with her to a Burundian dowry ceremony. This event happens shortly before a wedding, and it entails a dinner and a reception with the exchanging of gifts/bride, speeches, and a lot of soda.
Annie lent me a traditional dress. Photo credit: Danny J.
It’s Africa, so we expected the event to start late. We arrived two hours late and then waited an extra hour. I was in the car with Annie and four Burundians, and they taught me some Kirundi words in the meantime.
Carrying – you guessed it! – cases of soda. Photo credit: Abel N.
Kirundi word of the day: Fanta/soda. (Soda of any brand. Also a euphemism for “bribe,” so if someone asks for a “soda” they probably want money in exchange for a favor.)
Dinner was delicious—chicken, beef, rice, cabbage, and fried potatoes. We sat with the groom’s family, as we’d been asked to stand in for extended family members who couldn’t make it.
Carrying gifts to the dowry ceremony. Photo credit: Abel N.
Some of the events:
Dinner
Sodas
Traditional speeches: representative of the bride’s family takes turns with the groom’s representatives to publicly discuss the culmination of their bride price arrangements.
The family reiterates their acceptance of the terms and gifts arrive (more sodas, in this case).
The bride arrives with an entourage and the women vocalize their joy.
The brothers of the bride block the groom’s path to her until he gives them a gift.
Together, the two families sip a banana drink from a big bowl with straws.
The bride gives the groom a gift—new shoes.
The bride gives gifts to the parents.
More speeches.
More sodas.
More speeches.
More sodas.
The bride gave her groom new shoes. Annie and I sitting with the groom’s family. Photo credit: Abel N.
It was a big day for the bride and groom. And the next day would be even bigger: their wedding day!
If you look at a map of Africa, you might be surprised that it takes five hours to drive across the small country of Burundi. But Burundi is all hills and valleys, dirt roads and steep escarpments.
Kirundi word of the day: Murakozi (thank you)
This snapshot of rural Burundi does not do it justice
The rural town of Gisuru is across Burundi from Bujumbura, the big city with the country’s international airport. Ben’s brother Danny and his family made the drive to Bujumbura to pick us up and then brought us to Gisuru the next day. They did ten hours of driving between the two days!
For me, the five-hour trip was easy—everything I could see was interesting and new to me, so there was a lot to take in.
We stopped for lunch at a place the president frequents during his travels and even saw his motorcade.
Then we bumped along winding dirt roads for a couple of hours, the appearance of a rare car causing people to pause mid-hoe in the middle of their fields to watch us rumble by in a cloud of dust.
Sunset over Gisuru School for the Deaf
Finally, we arrived at Danny’s home, where my nieces and nephew gave us a tour of their various pets: guinea pigs, a rabbit, some lovebirds, a talking African grey parrot, and a pair of monkeys.
I couldn’t stop staring at the view. So much green! So much land! The house where we stayed overlooked not only the valley but also Gisuru School for the Deaf, which Danny established so the large population of Deaf kids in the area can learn sign language and have an education.
We’re in Africa! We’ve been looking forward to this trip for nine years, and we’re finally here.
Kirundi word of the day: Amahoro (hello)
Fun fact: It takes 30 hours to get from Glendale, Arizona to Bujumbura, Burundi.
Actually, it should take longer than that if you schedule long enough layovers– I don’t recommend sprinting across Chicago O’Hare Airport toting six carryon bags and an angry preschooler to catch a connecting flight.
Little Man was happy for most of the trip 🙂
If you’ve been following for a while, you might remember a previous post announcing that we’d be in Kenya for six weeks last spring. Well, that didn’t work out. But the Africa vacation to Burundi and Tanzania that we’re taking now is turning out to be much better than trip to work in the hospital would have been!
Ben was born in Burundi and lived here until he was four, when his family was displaced to Tanzania during the war. In fact, he lived in the house where I’m writing this– his father built it on the family’s mission station 30 years ago and now his oldest brother lives here. But being born in Burundi gives Ben more than just a passport that makes border agents do a double-take. It’s also given him a lifelong connection to a place that will always feel like home.
It took three hours to get through the Bujumbura airport
After our long trip to Bujumbura, Burundi, we finally managed to extricate ourselves from the airport to find the people who would pick us up. To my joy, I saw eight family members waiting for us in the parking lot, where they had spent hours so they could be sure to greet us! We haven’t seen some of the nephews in six years, so our drive to their home a few miles away was a happy reunion.
Bujumbura, Burundi
Keep following to hear about the rest of our Africa adventures! We’ll be here for a whole month traveling between several locations.
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As you may have noticed if you follow me on Instagram, I’ve been spending as much time as possible in and around the Superstition Wilderness this year! I love that area– the history and mystery, the natural landscape.
When I’m outside, I like to know the names of the plants I’m seeing and what they can be used for. Ben would probably like it if I would stop eating things I find in the wild, but if the apocalypse comes, I’ll be one of the few who knows how to prepare mesquite pods 😉
Boyce Thompson Arboretum
I’ve been doing a lot of plant research online, but it’s just not the same as getting out and learning about plants in person. So, for my birthday excursion, we headed to Boyce Thompson Arboretum, a huge garden of desert landscapes complete with hiking trail!
The arboretum is located at the foot of Picketpost Mountain (or, Piglet Wiglet Mountain, as my three-year-old has dubbed it), a formidable peak that is not possible to summit with a child and a dog. And yes, I know that from experience.
A natural stream runs through the gardens, bringing life to the desert landscape. However, you won’t just find Arizona’s flora here–there are also exhibits from desert environments all over the world!
Boojum trees are named after a word Lewis Carroll invented for The Hunting of the Snark
Why visit Boyce Thompson Arboretum?
If you’re in the East Valley region of the Phoenix Metro Area, the arboretum isn’t too far of a drive out of town. And it’s definitely worth it! Those who enjoy the Desert Botanical Gardens in Phoenix will love a getting a different angle on local vegetation.
Boyce Thompson Arboretum is a great activity for people of all ages and mobility levels. While not all the trails, including the loop trail, are accessible, you can see most of the gardens from paved paths.
Little ones will love the kid appeal in the children’s garden. It provides an opportunity to talk about shapes and colors.
Where’s your favorite place to explore the natural world? Do you like arboretums or just getting out in nature? Leave a comment and let me know!
If you’re looking for clean books for teens, you may have discovered that it can be hard to shop for YA lit these days.
The bad news is that it’s currently trendy for YA novels to portray teens engaging in risky behavior with unrealistically mild/nonexistent consequences.
The good news is that there are still YA authors out there who are dedicated to creating fantastic stories of all genres — without the graphic sex, glorified drug use, and unrealistic relationships. And the best part is, many of them still deal with the challenges teens face, from suicide to parent struggles to an ache to help the hurting.
So if that’s what you’ve been searching for, you’re in the right place! And if you don’t mind YA books with grittier content, I bet you’ll still enjoy these 🙂
If you’re looking for clean adult books, check out my post here
Unblemished Trilogy
Immerse yourself in the twists and turns of parallel worlds — reflections — as heroine Eliyana discovers her true identity in settings beyond her imagination.
Check out this gorgeous cover
The Unblemished trilogy comes to you from author Sara Ella and is now available in PAPERBACK!
Seeing Sara at a recent book signing
I also recommend her novel Coral, a Little Mermaid retelling focusing on mental health. As someone who has lost a family member to suicide, this is a topic close to my heart.
AND . . . let’s not forget Sara Ella’s upcoming release, The Wonderland Trials! If you’re subscribed to my newsletter (sign up in the sidebar), you’ll be one of the first to see the upcoming cover reveal and hear more about this book, which is coming in 2022! I’m so excited to read this one.
Calculated
Imagine the story of Joseph . . . set in modern times. . . with a math genius . . . in Asia.
Are you intrigued yet? I read Calculated by Nova McBee for my book club and LOVED this fictional story of courage and compassion as a young woman pursues freedom from modern-day slavery for herself and others.
Fractured Tide
Fractured Tide by Leslie Lutz is similar to Lost, but better. As in, no evil smoke people, just a freaky island, a terrifying sea monster, and a broken time machine that loops the same day over . . . and over . . . and over . . .
Now That You’re Here
I’m partial to books set in Phoenix. And let’s be honest– that’s a really short list. Now That You’re Here by Amy K. Nichols and its companion from the other main character’s point of view, While You Were Gone, is a the story of a boy who switches places with his parallel-universe twin. Will he choose to return to a war-torn reality where his parents are still alive? Or live as an orphan in a world that is safe?
The Hagenheim Series
The Hagenheim Series is a collection of fairytale retellings that tie together various classic stories. Since I’ve only read one of these books by Melanie Dickerson, I asked my friend Elli to weigh in, and she says:
“These books are all deliciously intriguing! I simply could not put them down when I started. I love that they all include Christ-centered themes.”
I enjoyed the Dear Americaseries as a teen. All of them are written as a diary by a young women in some period of American history. I desperately wanted them to be real journals, not fiction! I did get a little tired of the somewhat predictable threads of romance after reading several of these, but overall I enjoyed them. A great option for teen girls who loved the American Girls series.
Romanov
This month, I read Romanov by Nadine Brandes. 10 out of 10! I recently attended a virtual writing seminar where she discussed her philosophy toward YA lit and approach on writing books for teens, and this immediately went on my “To Be Read” list. If you love all things Anastasia Romanov, you can’t miss this one!
Solo
Soloby Kwame Alexander is one of my favorite books for teen guys (although girls will like it, too). This novel in verse follows the heartache of a 17-year-old adoptee as he grieves his mother’s head, struggles with his rock-star father’s addiction issues, and searches for identity. His search for his birthmother brings him to Ghana, where he and his family — both natural and adoptive — are able to experience forgiveness and the start of the healing process.
Love finding clean books for teens?
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This post contains affiliate links. I only recommend teen books I would share with my nieces and nephews!
